#DearDiary

||Some in crowd, some ain't,

Some active, some dormant.

Some confess, some covert,

Some express, some never.

Some go, some stay,

Some understand, some nay.

Some love, some hate,

Some obvious, some fate.

Some lost, some found,

Some calm, some confound.

Some discovered, some lost,

Some blessed, some star crossed.||

#thatsong_aDedication!

#StayBlessed!

The vow

|| The Eternity Of A Vow Is Not The Assurance That It Will Never Change,

But The Confidence, That Even If It’s Modified; It Will Be Valued For The Same Motivation ||

#Dear_Diary :)

#StayBlessed!

The Ph.D. Song

|| The shivering hands,

The chaotic mind,

The burning ears,

No peace to find.

The faster beats,

The dry throat,

Irritating people,

In your problem, they'll gloat.

The sleepless nights,

The agitated eyes,

Even the mirror said,

Fix yourself and be a little nice. 

The stress eating,

Made my weighing scale stare,

The hair fall,

It's just not fair.

So much prettiness around,
I can hear them judge,
'I know what you are staring at, sister,
But I don't even have the time to budge'. :(

Hundreds of pages,
Quite a few kgs (kilograms) surely,
I'm either carrying them,
Or thinking about them, purely.

Thousands of tabs,

Running so deep

Still miles to go

Before I can sleep. ||

#StayBlessed

Not Everyone's Cup Of Tea

People carry a notion that facial expression is a woman's thing. A guy without expression is termed as stern, manly, good personality and whatnot; whereas if a woman doesn't dance her eyebrows, wiggle her cheeks and curve her lips, is consider expressionless, full of attitude, rude etc.

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy"

There's expression in eyes, in looks, in voice, in body language. 

Subtlety is like common sense, you won't know if you don't have it. 

A poker face tells you a thousand things if you know how to read..

People tend to think expression as weakness. I had been known as the one who can give 60 expressions in 60 seconds, for half of my life. 

Don't get me wrong, the expression that I used to give might or might not be what actually was going on in my mind; but nonetheless I used to!

In recent times, I have learnt that people misuse your expressions.. For most part I don't care, but I love to irritate  people, who try to figure me out for no reason. And I have come to realize it, that people do get irritated if they can't read your face. 

It took a looo..ooott of work, to reach that point where I can hear a flabbergasting news and give little or no expression at all, leaving people wondering about, what's wrong with me!

The work is still in progress......

The satisfaction of keeping a poker face when everyone wants you to react is worth the hard work......

....or so it has been till now.....

..no wonder there is a "poke" in "poker"..

#StayBlessed

TicklingNostalgia

||.......and there I was standing amidst the green path.. Partly anticipating the forthcomings and partly familiarizing with the moist breeze....

I turned with the road,

and like a sudden gust of wind, I saw a strangely familiar face; with eyes, more lost than mine, searching for a shore to hold on to... It was strange how my eyes didn't want to move away..

..I did though,

....wondering if they were following me!!

They did...!!

      //*Fast forwarding to next week*//

 While climbing down #Chaturshringi hilltop as strangers in a sudden class trip, the rain accompanied us. After the rain stopped, we were not strangers anymore, I found 5 people whose madness matched mine.

After a lifetime, I fell in love with rain, and the monsoon wind softly whispered, 

"there's more"

The stars twinkled a bit brighter that night, as the Moon hid all the secrets!.....||

#a_dedication

#DearDiary

#StayBlessed

রংচং (colorful)

অটো তে যেতে যেতে চারিদিকে ছোট দের রঙিন মুখগুলো দেখে বেশ মজা লাগছিল। সাদা দাঁত টাই যা বোঝা যাচ্ছিল সবার। হাথে বন্দুক পিচকিরি নিয়ে ভাবটা যেন "কার লো দুনিয়া মুঠঠি মে"।

চারিদিকে এত রং এর মধ্যে নিজেকে সাদা কালো ক্যানভাস লাগছে।

আজ ছুটি নেই। স্যারের হুকুমে কাজ চালিয়ে যেতে হবে। তাতে খুব একটা আপত্তি নেই কিন্তু চারিদিকে এত রং দেখে মন টা সেই ছোটবেলা তে চলে গেলো। ভাই বোন দের সাথে চুটিয়ে রং খেলা আর শেষে মা-কাকিমারা এসে সবাই কে কান ধরে ঘরে নিয়ে যাওয়া। সে এক পাগলামোর দিন ছিল।

পাড়ার বড়ো দাদারা, মনে আছে, রং মেখে ঘুরতে বেরোত। দূর থেকে রং ভর্তি বেলুন ছুরতাম তাদের দিকে। ব্যাস ওই অবধি ছিল বীরত্ব। আর তারা যখন "তবে রে" বলে তেড়ে আসতো, তখন আর কে কোথায়!

ঘরে ঢুকে সোজা খাটের তলায়।

ভুল করে যদি আমাদের মধ্যে কেউ ধরা পড়ে যায় দাদা দের হাথে, তাকে উদ্ধার করার প্ল্যানও আগের দিন ঠিক করে রাখা হতো।

---------------------------------------------------------

সিগনালে এসে দাড়ালো অটো টা, হঠাৎ একজন বাচ্চা মেয়ে এসে উকি মেরে জিগ্যেস করলো,"রং লাগাবো?"

হাথে দেখলাম একটা আবির এর প্যাকেট।

গাল টা বাড়িয়ে দিলাম। সে তার ছোট্ট ছোট্ট চারটে আঙ্গুল দিয়ে, চারটে দাগ দিলো গালে। আমিও দিলাম।

ততক্ষনে সিগনাল সবুজ হয়ে গেছে। আমি ইশারা করতে মেয়ে টি দু পা পিছিয়ে গেল।

রং মাখা হাথ দুলিয়ে বিদায় জানালো আমাকে।

পুরো মুখে ওই দাঁত আর জল জল করছে দুষ্টু চোখ টা খুশি তে আত্মহারা। 

"ইস! নাম টাই তো জানা হলো না, যার সাথে আজ একমাত্র হোলি খেললাম!"

#ভালোথেকো

PoetryDay

Let me use this day, as it ought to rhyme,

Everything seems pleasant when it's your time!

I have been prisoner of my own thoughts yet tried to calm others,

But then who cares if convenience is not for self; who bothers!

In an argument of yays and nays,

No one maintains the ledger of how much who pays.

I should have, what could have been avoided, was said,

It's like I was the big bad wolf to an innocent child who was preyed.

"Be patient" when I said was thrown in hate and despair.

Now, words being repeated  seemed so "fair"!!

I hoped and prayed that no one was hurt,

But it was made sure that every bridge was burnt. 

Emotions are not anyone's property to use them as one may seem fit,

Everyone gets hurt, so why test it!

People are so caring, and torried,

Now a days someone else ask your whereabouts because someone else is "worried"

I have always been a hateful shrew,

The only difference is that I never chose to show it till my threshold blew.

Let me check my words lest people be offended,

But take note that indifference can't be mended.

#HappyWorldPoetryDay

#StayBlessed

UniversityRoads

||There are people and there are places.....

......And then there are people with whom certain places come to life....

The once explored roads were explored...again.

The canteen tables were thumped...again.

The laughters were heard.....again.

I forgot the power of a good conversation, 

From talking about career choices to absolute nonsense. From discussing the complexities of a relationship to the simple gossips.

From discussing the darkest fears to hope that we reach the light at the end of the tunnel. From discussing the stupidity of past to sincerity of future. 

The partly green deciduous trees, gently nodded and participated in the discussion. The wind accompanied the sunset in the half bare field. We waved it goodbye, like the good old days!

These meetings come rarely but it taught me that there are people who find their peace of mind talking to me, it gave me a sense of worth; they will always want me to come back to them, because they will be waiting...||

#StayBlessed

GratitudeToAll

“Dead people receive more flowers than the living ones
because regret is stronger than gratitude.”
~Anne Frank

A huge garland of old flowers floated passed my ferry boat as I was sailing.

Sailing through one of the oldest rivers of the world, these words kept ringing in my mind. For no particular reason, the music of melancholy kept ringing in my ears. Ganges has always have this effect on me.I have sailed through her for many a times, and each time irrespective of my mood and company, I could not help but think about all the things she has held inside of her!

Many braves have been immersed.

While many troubled have given her self up.

So many adieus.

Yet many successful voyages.

Many a storms came by.

Still, beautiful sunrises have been witnessed.

Thoughts kept hovering my mind, thoughts about our existence. 

We are a dot in the universe. We are a dot in the lap of this vast watery abode.

Yet somehow we behave like the creator, as in we are the ones who are holding everything together.

Is it??
Are we so naive to believe that we are above to any superior power holding the universe together?

Call it what you want, God or Nature....but, it is not us.

Then why do we behave, that we are the ones that has the right to destroy anything that had already been provided here?!?!

You know why?
.... because we are addicts.

We are addicted to the power, the pseudo power that has been given to us by nature.

But little do we realize that this is the exact power that is making us the prisoners of the world.

We can never feel free if we think ourselves to be all powerful, because we are not.

We neither have the power to decide our life and death nor what happens to us in between.

The only thing that we can do is try.

We can try to make this place livable,

We can try to show our gratitude to the living than mourn for the dead.

In this way, even if our names won't be written in history books, we could make sure that there will remain people, who would remember us for appreciating their efforts while both the parties were alive!

The ferry boat reached my intended stop. I jumped out of it. 

As I was leaving her to enter the man-made civilization, I waved a kiss of goodbye and thanked her for letting me travel through her, safely! ....

....and hoped that one day when I will be one with her, I will be able to do what she does, as she does....selflessly!

#StayBlessed!

NoteOf_A_BrokenHeart

"For last few days I have written and deleted may be hundreds of my drafts to say the least,never knowing exactly what I have been feeling or whether to pen-down that feeling will be legit enough or not.
Post many considerations, I have come to this conclusion that if you have to think, you are not true to yourself.
I am not a very open person emotionally speaking, to others; and thus it is compensated by my diary to say the least. 

Someone once told me not to let my surroundings affect me and to write my heart out in every instance. I realized that it is to those people that I should vow my graciousness..

I have loved this city!
But I thought I could never love any city more than my hometown. But I did and I encouraged people to come in this city because I wanted them to fall in love with it as much. 

The result being, I started to hate it because I made memories with people who threw me out like an insect when it was inconvenient to them. 
That time when I thought I could use a hug, there I was standing alone because everyone chose their team and I was labelled!! 
Labelled as THAT person, you know, who was hated and forgotten..unanimously!.

I have valued friendship more than any damn relationship in this world....and when I say any, I mean it....but I have nothing to show for it....
I have stood by it..
I have lost people for it...
I have fought for it...
.....but in the end it didn't even matter!!!

I even broke everyone's heart, everyone who had loved me selflessly which in turn broke mine.
There is always this sharp pain inside my chest, that no doctor could explain medically.
I have had my efforts trampled with no fruitful result;
and so here I am thinking about a finale...
Result matters more in this world that efforts; well then here I am, making an effort....yet again! I hope my city won't forget me as quickly as people did!

p.s: I have neither forgiven  anyone and nor do I expect it in return, because I am not sorry for anything!!
Not A Thing!"

The diary ended there.....
Standing beside the  dead body, the detective inspector finally spoke, "well then, it's clear now! people can die of broken heart!"

There was an extra chill in the air of Loch that night! or maybe winter finally arrived!

The question!

|| The question should not be, whether a girl and a boy can become friends?
....the question should be whether a girl and a boy can remain friends?!! ||

#StayBlessed