GoodOldDays

Janmashtami was just another holiday for me till I went to college.

The elaborate 'jhakis' depicting stories from the life of Lord Krishna, the singing and dancing, which technically was more like a continuous live performance, since we had to sing and dance way past midnight (the time when Lord Krishna was said to be born), till our hostel/college gate was closed. The cherry on top was the competition between faculties/departments which used to make us even more eager to be a part of the preparations and the rehearsals than to attend classes at this time of the year.

Since then, Janmashtami, for me is more than the celebration of HIS birth, it symbolizes bondings and friendships with a hint of nostalgia. It was a wholesome feeling. Tiring, sure, but a sense of association and inclusion which I highly doubt could be found anywhere else, ever again!

None of us had cameras back then and not many of us had good camera phones as well, but whatever hazy and disoriented photos I have, they are a bunch of treasure for me!

#HappyJanmashtami

#StayBlessed

#StaySafe

২২শে শ্রাবণ

 আজও শূন্যস্থান টা পূরণ হয়নি।

#রবিঠাকুরেরজন্য

#ভালোথেকো

ঠাকুর

F R I E N D S H I P

Part of being an adult is to make yourself understand that not every acquaintance is a friend.

And that friendship is Not everyone's cup of tea!

So Thank You who, over the years, stuck with me,

I owe you my sanity!

#StayBlessed

#HappyFriendship_sDay

|Conversations|

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

There's a subtle difference between reply and conversation, that only words can convey!

Art of conversation is rare these days.

So if you find someone with whom u can actually converse, from nonsense to necessary, don't loose them!

#StayBlessed

The unknown unknowns ❣️🔭

Day 1

I just refuse to believe!

Day 5

I find myself asking how everyone seems to believe such an absurd thing.

Day 7

It has been a week and I am beginning to afraid that it is not just a rumor, and the pictures are not photo-shopped.

Day 11

The messages left even before you did. I was so angry with you for deleting everything that I never talked to you after that. How can I convince myself that the conversation was real?

Day 14

Even after two weeks, you continue to remain somewhere else. I however am starting to hate you because if what the authorities are saying is true then you are selfish!…and if what people are saying is true then I do not know whom to be angry with! I could write to you but the fear that you won’t reply is stopping me!

Day 18

Those few lines were all I had, and you were selfish to take them away!

Day 21

It is said that it takes 21 days to make something a habit; it is wrong!

I just can't believe that how can you make your entire family go through something that they already faced once before, including you!

Had I wrote more often to you, would that have helped? May be.....May be not!

We will never know!

Day 23

I am still not sure about how mind works, but those self musings of yours kept me afloat to certain extent. They were one of my safety valves.

You always solved a situation with logic and mathematics! What is your explanation for this? What is the correlation and what is the causation of it!?!?

"The mere observation of a phenomenon inevitably changes that phenomenon". isn't it?
I am observing, yet the phenomenon of your non-existence is not changing.

Day 25

Your eyes were always up above the world so high that I can only hope that you are one of the diamonds in the sky.

Without sharing a physical space you shared the absolute mental space with so many like me!

Thank you!

I know your energy is now travelling through different quantum realms and you are having the time of your life. I hope you find better people there!

Day 28

Letting go is hard. I know you would say that,

"time takes over eventually" 

but I know you also said that

"we can co-exist in different planes" 

and so I will, from now on, assume that you are in the parallel universe and I hope you find a way to do what you love. I may not be able to see you but I hope you find a way to look over your loved ones.

Day 30

People say that you are at peace. What they don't know is that you are not at rest. The list of dreams that you could not do in this plane, I pray that you find some way to carry them out, wherever you are, so that finally you can rest.

Last one month has not been the same and in a way it never will. I will keep your quotes closer to me but stop talking about you, because "ultimately that is what is suppose to happen".

Time will pass, routine will take over our lives and you will be forgotten.

You never deserved that.

You deserved better.

“As long as you were,

I was.

Now just in my memories,

I come alive.

Like that shadow,

But

Just flickers.

Time doesn’t move here,

It’s beautiful mother,

It’s forever.” ~ SSR

p.s. you owe me the “book exchange”. I will make sure we do that, even if it is on another realm, under some other stars and within another reality!

Sometime your heart needs a little more time to accept what the mind already knows!

#StayBlessed

Places to be!

|| Go to the terrace,

Look up the sky,

Read the clouds,

And imagine you too can fly.

If terrace is not an option,

Opt for a balcony,

Observe the lonely roads,

They tell stories uncanny.

If you do not have balcony,

Worry not there's more,

Watch travel videos online,

Though virtual but for a second you too can explore.

If all the things fail,

Turn off all the lights and hear jazz,

Feel the touch of music,

And relax those spaz.

After a while,

You can see through dark,

It has its own tale,

It will let you know if you wish to hark!

Nature ventures as usual,

While people sigh,

Even if everything is closed,

Look at the world through your inner eye ||

#StayBlessed

The Eluded Slumber!

#StayBlessed

#ProtectYourPeace

To be or not to be!

Loving is easy.

I don't know why people fight it.

It makes you a kinder and a gentler person.

Loving someone without any expectation is one of the powerful feelings in the world, not because any cheesy movie dialogue said so, but for the simple reason that it just feels good to look at the person you love and know that they are happy! In addition to that, you know that you are also being loved, may not be in the conventional way that everyone talks about but in an emotionally intimate way that no one can expect!

It's a good feeling..

Love will always tend to bring out the better side of you..

The side that knows what should and should not be done..

If it is bringing out a bitter side, it can not be love.

It can be any number of things but not love. Never love!

If you are realizing that just thinking about it making your blood boil and making you throw things, it is not love.

However our society made us believe that that's the feeling of passion. It's not. Passion is as misunderstood as love.

Destroying mental peace is neither passion nor love.

Understanding that, may take time.

Make sure that when finally you understand that, not much is destroyed so that the love and respect that was valued in the first place can be restored!

Do not impose or expect that the love that was, will be exactly the same, exactly the same moment you walk in again!

Love doesn't change, expression of love does with time and circumstances; so do people, to survive.

Make sure the goodness still exist, the admiration still exists, the care still exists.....As for the rest of it, if time took it away, it will be brought back!

Distance yourself from people who bring out any uneasy negative feeling in you..Give time, it takes over everything..

But never be indifferent. 

Trying to feel nothing is much more painful than pain itself.

Don't be the person you despise.

I wrote today because for last few days, for whatever reasons, I can feel negativity in me. With everything going around, the death of a favorite person did not help the situation. 

It's silly..It's stupid..Be what may...It's what I am feeling...

And I realized that this is the only place where I can be myself!

p.s. I have started this blog in a whimsy, few years back but eventually it had turned into my sandbag. I am a kind of person who holds every emotion in, which only comes out in writing. And more than anything else, I hold grudges, that's just me. But the problem lies with the fact that the grudges I hold affect me more since I do not do anything with them. The most I can do is write a long and wide message venting out just 1% of it and that's just it.

For me, loving comes easy, as long as it is not myself!

That's bad.

I know!

Whatever I write here, are my very own feelings and more often than not I speak to myself as I have no misconception of being sorted. Moreover, when I say that I have faced difficulties and sure will face again, I don't mean that no one else has. It's just that it's my journey hence it's my faulty narrative!

#StayBlessed

What is not a depression!

Getting sad over a missed promotion, crying over a fight with a friend or a few sleepless nights is NOT depression. 

Depression is not synonymous to being sad, frustrated, agitated, or just simply the inability to express yourself.

Dr.Winch of Psychology Today, in his Ted Talk tried to dehaze some misconceptions about the two.

Sadness is a normal human emotion. We’ve all experienced it and we all will again. Sadness is usually triggered by a difficult, hurtful, challenging, or disappointing event, experience, or situation. In other words, we tend to feel sad about something. This also means that when that something changes, when our emotional hurt fades, when we’ve adjusted or gotten over the loss or disappointment, our sadness remits.


Depression is an abnormal emotional state, a mental illness that affects our thinking, emotions, perceptions, and behaviors in pervasive and chronic ways. When we’re depressed we feel sad about everything. Depression does not necessarily require a difficult event or situation, a loss, or a change of circumstance as a trigger. In fact, it often occurs in the absence of any such triggers. Most importantly, the people experiencing the illness mostly seem perfect on paper as far as their lives are concern. They would even admit this is true—and yet they still feel horrible. You can not just snap out of it, no matter how circumstances around you change until and unless you consult a doctor. 

It is an illness, you need to be treated and you have to accept that. 

Just as every sign of flu is not covid-19, every sign of sadness is not depression. Having said that just as it is suggested that you need to treat your flu right away, if you think you are sad or if you know someone who is sad and going through tough times, help them and make them feel at home.

Depression is NOT as trivial as diarrhoea and should NOT be used callously to describe simply ANY unhappy state of mind. It's not something you can just shake off your own, if you did I am glad but dear you were not depressed..You just needed time! 

Before we deal with depression, let us make sure that we know what's NOT depression.
Talking and opening up helps so consult a doctor anyway and if you know someone, help them express themselves if they can't.

A little talking goes a long way! 😊

#StayHappy

#StayHealthy

#StayBlessed

DAYBREAK

I should have written earlier I know but I am afraid…afraid of the uncertainty of this year.

The fear of loosing has gained its momentum which in turn made us aware of how fragile we are as human beings and thus seizing and loving the moment should be the only criteria for living!

"Do what you love and if you know what you are doing and why you are doing that, then there's nothing to be afraid of!", SSR.

The only certainty is the Big Bang in this ever unsettling and uncertain galaxy.

"Appreciate what you have but never be content with it because that will hinder your quest towards excellence", SRK

Half of our lives are made of such insignificant moments which are not at all planned and unexpected.

The rest half is comprised of the crazy in us!

Don't just live the moment...Live in the moment. 

Every morning brings with it, the essence of potential that it holds!

Wear a mask.

Take care of your peace.

#StayBlessed

I Am All Kinds Of Grey

There's difference between human beings and computers which mean that the former can't be judged on the basis of the language the latter speaks..There's no "all black" or "all white". We are not made of zeroes and ones...

We are everything in between...

Much like history, the color grey teaches us that a character or a person is a combination of good and evil; which part you allow to be dominant on yourself, decides your trait in the pages of history!

#StayBlessed

The Dreamcatcher Song

|| Dreams come..Dreams go.

Some high..Some low.

Keep me close..And I'll make sure,

No more painful dreams..That you have to endure.

Even if I be away..I'll make the dreams sway!

Worry not..You will get through,

I'll make all your heart's desire..Come true.||

#StayBlessed

Quarantine Cooking

I'm not much of a cook but this lockdown has taught us that necessity is the mother of everything.
Here's some recipes that I tried and turned out alright...
I'm not a big fan of sharing photos of food but since lockdown is over(and most people can eat what they like), I thought this would be a good time to flaunt!

p.s. I am not going to make some of these again unless there's another lockdown ( I hope NEVER) ------------------------------------------
1) Grilled chicken with mashed potatoes, green peas and boiled corn.

2) Prawn fried rice

3) Kalakand -- Recipe from Banglar Rannaghor

4) Pancake with honey and banana

5) Jhal shooji (bengali style Upma) -- Recipe from Bong Eats

6) Alu kabli (boiled potato and chana chat)

7) Kachagolla (Chhena balls/sandesh) can't think of any translation that will do justice to it -- Recipe from Banglar Rannaghor

#stayblessed

#২৫শে_বৈশাখ

গুছিয়ে তোমায় রেখেছিলাম চিলেকোঠার কোণে।
ভেবেছিলাম আমার করেই রাখবো তোমায় মনে।
কাটলো যখন ছেলেবেলা।
সাঙ্গ হলো দিনের খেলা।
রাত্রি, ভোরে, সকাল, সাঁঝে।
ছড়িয়ে তুমি সবার মাঝে।
লেখার ছন্দে বললে তুমি জীবনের যত চাওয়া।
অনেকখানি না পাওয়াতেও অনেক কিছু পাওয়া।

#ভালো থেকো

Tagore
Tagore_

Quarantineমন

Quarantine Sing-along

I feel no difference in self isolation and quarantined life except for the fact that earlier going out was an option, now it is not. But it is okay with me and people think I am weird when I say this out loud!
I can spend hours with myself doing nothing and something and what not! Since childhood, I have learnt to be a loner and yet not lonely!
However, for most "non weird" people, the lock-down is somewhat problematic after some days.
So, in order to maintain the sanity my friend and I made a deal that we will resume our singing and exchange songs and make use of this lock-down. One of the good things that came out of this lock-down is that I got the confidence to sing again. I have a problem in my throat and that causes hindrance at times, but off late I am trying to re-start the rewaz.....let's see how long can I keep it this time!
For past few days and weeks we have been exchanging quite a number of songs, some saved and some not:

Music Therapy



#StaySafe
#StayMusical
#StayBlessed

Deed Of The Day

It has been over a month since I blogged but the world right now around us is not the one we wished while wishing each other a happy new year!
Like everyone I, also, am following the countrywide lock-down as issued by the Government of India and I truly wish everyone reading this, is in best of their health!
The COVID-19 virus has paralyzed almost all of our civilized world as we know it yet we fight on; and will continue till it is defeated!

The only way it can be defeated is if we can break the chain of infection by staying indoors, washing our hands and maintaining social distancing as much as possible.
SO PLEASE FOLLOW THEM (and any other directives given by your government).

No, I am not here to give another lecture on the benefit of social distancing because by now I hope everyone is aware of it.

After many days, today I decide to write. I have been checking the news too often and getting depressed after watching the numbers. But today I thought I will break that chain as well. Instead of getting worried, I will share something today!

We humans are the most selfish being on earth but being locked down should have made people (or i wish it has) aware of the trauma the animals go through as well. One of my neighbors has two small yellow birds in a cage. I have no doubt that they are taken care of and loved but I have never been a fan of the cage (may be that is the reason I do not like zoo). To tell you the truth, many a times I thought of opening the cage, but it has always been kept away from my reach.
During the second week amidst the lock-down, I went to the terrace and to my astonishment the cage was there. Though locked, but it was there. All the emotions and ideas whirl-winding in my subconscious kind of made me open the cage. No sooner did I open it than the pair flew away.
It felt really good! but only for a moment. The next moment I felt so guilty that I went downstairs and knocked on their door. To my astonishment, they did not become angry, rather told that they have been meaning to do that but did not have the heart as they were attached to them. They thanked me and asked me whether I would have done it even if they were mine. I smiled and said that firstly I would not cage anything I love and secondly, isn't there a saying that if you love something set it free..??!!
The afternoon ended with a laughter.
.....And I am not saying it's them but since then I have been seeing two yellow birds who come and sit on a tree in front of my window around same time everyday for 5 to 10 seconds and then fly away!
Weird right?
Well, I have seen weirder!

#StaySafe
#StayBlessed!

এভাবেও ভালোবাসা যায়

|| রবীন্দ্র সরোবরে প্রেম করতে কোনোদিনও যাওয়া হয়ে ওঠে নি।

যেদিন গিয়েছিলাম সেইদিন এক ভালোবাসা আরেক ভালোবাসার কাছে হেরে গিয়ে একা ফিরেছিল।

সেই প্রথম সেই শেষ।

বহিঃপ্রকাশটা পাল্টালেও, ভালোবাসাটা আজও রয়ে গেছে।

কলেজ স্ট্রিটে বই কেনার ছলে আড়ালে হাত ধরে কলেজ স্কোয়ারে বসাটাও হয়নি।

নতুন বই এর গন্ধ আর তার মাঝে দাঁড়িয়ে সেই ভালো লাগার কথা গুলো হয়েছিল বটে।

সে এক আলাদাই অনুভূতি।

ভালো লাগার কথা আর কোনোদিন বলা হয়ে ওঠেনি, তবে বই এর সেই গন্ধ আজও অম্লান।

সবুজ ঘাসে, কলকাতার ফুসফুসেও সেই একবারই দাঁড়িয়েছিলাম।

প্রচন্ড বৃষ্টিতে, একটা ছাতার তলায় একসাথে।

মেট্রো রেলের দরজাটা বন্ধ হওয়ার আগে শেষ বারের মতো সেই ফিরে তাকানো....

কথা তো সেইদিনও খরচ করতে হয়নি, কারণ চোখ দুটো যে চিরকালের বাচাল।

ভালোবাসা শুধু আঁকড়ে রাখে না।

তাকে আমি হাসি মুখে যেতে দেখেছি। ||

#এভাবেও_ভালোবাসা_যায়

#ভালো_থাক_সেইসব_ভালোবাসা 

One Musical Afternoon

Music has always been considered as one of the best therapies.

I came to know something called white noise a while back and actually started to like it. 

For those who haven't heard of it, these are a bunch of random nature's very relaxing sounds, like the sound of rains or ocean waves etc that helps in creating a calming surrounding for you to meditate. It is also used for sleeping or for general relaxation purposes.

There are several apps from where these can be downloaded and are easy to use.

Apart from that, one can always tune into one's favorite songs, and it can also be as relaxing!

My playlist keeps on increasing with time but there are  certain songs those I keep close to me, they are my safety songs. There are songs for every mood but these are the songs I go to when I do not want to hear any other song or am really confused about my mood!

Having said that, the specificity of that list is not so specific! There are quite a few but I have decided to list 10 from languages of my understanding and it was absolutely not easy for me.
I will paste the YouTube link here so that if anyone wishes to check they can just click away.

Here goes:

English:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yc6T9iY9SOU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKyVoAGSbp4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkuZqKjCyNw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1wsNd6N5Yw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeIUmACQGOo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WU3HdVKP_s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gAJWGYRHVU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRLRz7u3Pf4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39Rnma2bzjg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pnh3AU9ATOc

Hindi:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GamAEMfMTe4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFr6G5zveS8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STsCWx_DbOo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqSa3UDV8SE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WUBR_GJzjg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkCKTuR-ECI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MN2bxMiB9A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNV5hLSa9H8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvRUnGYta0k

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzlD-U68sl4

Bengali: These are purely songs from the movies and I did not include any songs of Tagore because I can not do that to myself!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFXARDgOf0o

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmdhb2kz0_M

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFeoINyGpVM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5OcTA3nZzg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poVsIz3Q_pI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iraal5veEVo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIQCt1PsemY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Xo4LjJ527Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5GsLbl6kDw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Whr3M4P2RKE

Happy hearing!

#StayBlessed

No Title

#StayBlessed

2020 is here!

I have been in hibernation for quite some time and few people who read my childish blabber were asking me about the break. To them I say thank you, you are the reason I try to choose my words wisely and I am eternally grateful.

Now coming to the blabber part, I thought a decade consists of 10 years, as in 1 to 10; but I have been enlightened that that’s only mathematically and there is a controversy when it comes to calendar which is 0 to 9. So I guess that makes it another decade!
And that was my first lesson of the year, hence releasing it into the universe if at all anyone is “noob”, (that’s I hear is a millennial lingo for stupid!), like me!

When we were kids, New Year brought a sense of newness, like a reset button, a chance to redo things…..and so many cards!
I have always loved anything in hard-copy writing!
Our generation has forgotten how to write a letter long time ago, so let’s just leave it at that but receiving New year greetings cards from classmates were like a peek in their heart to know what they think of me (even if the words were previously printed). I have like hundreds of those that date back to my 3rd standard!
I have this handmade card that I got from a boy and I was surprised because apart from discussing cartoons (yes you read it right! We DISCUSSED CARTOONS), we didn’t have any interactions.

That one is still my favorite! The card, not the guy!

But as we grow up we realize, that start of a year has practically no tangible effect in life as we know it.

So much is going around the world, starting from forest fires to political riots, from global warming to immigration problems, from civil wars to angry mob; that there is nothing that has a “feel good” quotient as far as the big picture is concern.

……so I realized that we have to take the small wins that we can get in our mundane regularity. For example, I have been trying to take this kind of a photograph of a place for quite sometime, but as it seems, easier said than done. After a lot of fight with the angle of the light and the manual adjustment of the camera, I succeeded, next time it will be better but  I counted this as my win for the day!

We have to try and make at least our surroundings a little better than it was yesterday…and try, we shall!

On that note I wish more power, more kindness and more good health to everyone.
Happy New Year!
Have a peaceful one!

#StayBlessed

শেষের শুরু

|| নিঝুম পাড়াটা কে কেমন ক্লান্ত দেখাচ্ছে।

সবার মতো হয়তো সেও শীতে কাবু।

ইলেক্ট্রিকের তারে বসে থাকা কয়েকটা শালিক পাখির দিকে অচেতনেই তাকিয়ে আমি বেশ অনেক্ষন।

গত এক দশক টা যেন কাল রাতের স্বপ্নের মতো মাথায় ঘুরপাক খাচ্ছে। কেমন আধো ঘুম চোখে হাতছানি দিচ্ছে।

স্বপ্নই বটে, তা না হলে তো আগলে রাখা যেত।

দশকের শেষটা শুরু হতে চলেছে। 

যা দিয়ে শুরু করেছিলাম তার অনেক কিছুই নেই। আর যা দিয়ে শেষ করবো তার অনেক কিছুই তখন ছিল না।

পাওয়ার আনন্দ, না পাওয়ার কষ্ট, আর হারিয়ে যাওয়ার অভিমানকে পাথেয় করে শুরু হোক শেষ টা।

সেই শেষ দেখার অপেক্ষায়...

নতুন করে ঘুমের অপেক্ষায় ....

.....অপেক্ষারত আমি। ||